there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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