broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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