I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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