i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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