Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
