I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
