My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
