You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
