if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
