so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
