Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
