1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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