I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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