Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
