Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
