what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
