i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
