So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
