I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
