I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
