we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
