good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
