i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i think i have two assholes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
