I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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