VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got inside last night via doggy door
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
