i don't plan on having that self control this summer
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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