If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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