I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
