we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
