First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
