Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
one two three fourrrrnication!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
