Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
