Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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