come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
