I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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