dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
