So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wear drunk well.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
