I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
