u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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