it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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