i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
