Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
