Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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