Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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