ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
