I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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