The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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