Quick, to the slutcave!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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