If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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