we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
