how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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